"WHEN Amy Waldman first signed on to Facebook last year and started to send joking messages about good grammar back and forth with a new 18-year-old friend, Ms. Waldman’s 19-year-old daughter, Talia, upbraided her for not revealing that she was actually in her 40s.
“You have to tell her you’re old,” she explained, “because on Facebook, that’s creepy.”"
That's actually sort of how I felt when the guy who ended up as the guitar player in my new band first messaged me via Facebook, if only to tell me he dug my musical tastes. I felt a bit odd replying to him that first time, partly out of self-concsiousness for thinking maybe *he* would be creeped out that I was pushing 40 (at the time) while also clearly "engaged" in the social networking game. Turns out I was dead wrong and that a genuine friendship and musical collaboration developed out of this random first encounter. This is social networking at its finest, thought I!But this past Friday night I couldn't help thinking how rewarding the original version of social networking (analog, real-world, that is) truly was and still is. I decided at the last minute to cruise into town from Hillsborough to check out the Donnas at the Cradle. I knew of only one person who was going, but I've never seen them and thought it would be a good way to blow some steam before heading into a weekend of reviewing for the comp exam. Turns out I run into a law professor who I've gotten chummy with at work, a guy who hails from Memphis and has deep ties to the Memphis music scene. So we end up hanging out for the surprisingly short and somewhat perfunctory Donnas set. In front of us for some time is Glenn Dicker, who co-owns and runs local indie label/distributor YepRoc/RedEye (which happens to be distributing the Donnas new independent release). Glenn went to high school in Pennsylvania with my best friend, Matt, who later went on to road manage the Flaming Lips. Well, it turns out that Adam (my professor friend) was good friends with an RA in college at Yale who also happened to become one of Dicker's closest associates at Rounder Records a few years after that. (The RA happens to be none other than Jake Guralnick, son of noted rock critic/writer, Peter, but that's just a cool aside.) Small world. Adam had never met Glenn so I said I'd have to make introductions later, as I'm casually friendly with Mr. Dicker myself (the strength of weak ties??).
Later, when we all end up at the Nitelight to see some band called Tulsa from Boston, Glenn graciously offers to buy us all a round. That's not before Adam and I discover that we both know another RedEye employee: one of his pool playing pals is another old acquaintance of mine, Mary Gunn. Then, before I even get in the door, my massage therapist's son, Jesse, who I've known since he was about 8 years old, shouts out, "Doug!", makes some chitchat, and asks what I'm doing Halloween night. "Going to see Nada Surf at the Cradle, dude" I reply. "Right on, man, because my band is opening for them!" he responds excitedly. "Wow--how did you score that gig?" I ask. Turns out Jesse used to serve the lead singer espresso every weekday morning the few years he lived up in Brooklyn. So on a whim he emailed the Nada Surf frontman and asked if his band might please have the opening slot. The strength of weak ties yet again, version 1.0.
I had a great night out on Friday and really enjoyed the randomness of connections that went on all around me that night. It left me feeling that facebook and myspace, for all their relative grooviness, leave a lot to be desired when all is said and done.
2 comments:
The comment about the creepiness of not telling your age is interesting, because I never really consider telling people my age on the internet. That is mostly because, unless I know them already, it seems like it isn't really their business. Of course, if I get to the point where I would meet them in person, I would have already shared that info with them. That said, however, people in Facebook already know me from in person meetings, and people on Myspace usually know I am Luna and Chris's mom. (Besides, they can see my picture and if they believe it, make a guess.)
Still, some of the creepiness of not revealing yourself comes through in this news article about the potential repercussions of lying about one's age on the Internet: 22-Year-Old New York Man Murdered After Being Drawn Into Internet Love Triangle
Now that I think about it, though, one thing my husband and I are *always* telling my 10-year-old daughter when she is on the computer is. "Be very, very carefully what you tell people on the Internet. For all you know, the could be weird, 40-year-old creeps trying to talk to little kids."
Kind of the internet version of "Don't talk to strangers" without the "don't talk" part? No wonder my kids seem more cynical than I was at their age.
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